Happy Armageddon

Last night I watched this show on the History Channel called "Last Days on Earth". The show ranked and discussed all the different ways in which the human species could be eradicated.

The threats were informally divided into natural disasters like black holes, gamma rays, asteroids and comets and more man-made or at least man-influenced threats like artificial intelligence, nuclear weapons, viruses and global warming. The chances for each specific threat vary, but one thing is for certain: they all do have the potential to destroy us.

I didn't sleep very well that night.

It is interesting/distressing to me to think about what force will eventually bring down the human race. I would honestly hope it will be something that was out of our control like an asteroid collision. It would make me sad to think that we brought about our own demise.

But even if we do dodge all of these bullets, in 5 billion years the sun will burn out and render the earth unlivable.

Happy new year everybody.

This season on Lost: My Cell Phone

I lost my cell phone either yesterday or the day before. I can't really remember.

I have always been afraid something like this would happen. As someone without a landline at home, it was pretty crippling for me. Luckily, I'm getting a new one sent to me by Monday, but until then no texting, no calling, no nothing.

For the next few days my main communication device will be e-mail. E-mail is great, but I think the response time expectation is much slower when compared to the telephone. If you e-mail me and I write you back two days later, that's pretty normal. If you call me and leave a message and I call you back two days later, that's pretty late.

Actually, I was thinking about not getting a new phone and just hanging out with all the people I know all the time. This way when someone wants to talk to me, all they have to do is say is "Casey" and then I'll just go "What?"

Parking Problem

I am always on the lookout for something that I can contribute to Found Magazine. That is why I was so happy when I found this little gem in the parking lot at Target:


It was laying on the ground between two cars, none of which were mine. I am still tying to figure out if the writer of the note was trying to call the poor parker an asshole twice or if they just forgot to add the comma after the first asshole. Either way I think it's funny. I'll let you all know if it gets published.

I Am Puzzled

After a month and a half of tedious work, I have finally completed my 1000 piece jig saw puzzle of Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa. I will say that it turned out to be more difficult than I had anticipated.

There were really two main challanges with this particular puzzle. First, about 40% of all the pieces were solid black, making that section of the puzzle a large game of trial and error. Second, sometimes two pieces would "appear" as if they fit together, when in fact one of the pieces would just be very similar to its correct counterpart.

It was a lot of fun putting this together, but I think I will wait a while before I start a new one. I have some masterpieces of my one to work on.

Frightening Statistics

When you do a Google Image search for the word "frightened" you might expect to find Horror movie posters or pictures of people running scared for their lives. And you will. But, strangely enough, you will also find an image I made. In fact, as of right now, it is the very first image on the list.

A few years ago I drew this picture and decided to name it "frightened" for obvious reasons. Little did I know that that word would become the number one search string for my site. So far in September the word "frightened" has got me garnered me 51 hits, verses "casey conroy" which has got me a measly 7 hits.

I do like the fact that even with super refined technology, results can still be unpredictable. And hey, I guess any sort of traffic flow to a site is good. Even if it's a bunch of apparently really frightened people.

BOO!

Sign of the Apocalypse

Yakov Smirnoff is teaching at my alma mater.

Peace Out, Man

Let see, what has been happening:

• A social poster I designed made its way into an online exhibition. You will have to click thru the presentation to get to mine. I think I am #26 out of 34.

• A focus group review my latest brochure design and, well, they didn't hold anything back. It's interesting/cruel to watch a video tape of six people sitting around discussing how much the brochure that you have been sweating over sucks. It was a real reality check.

• I invented a new slang word: Mulhawk. It's a combination Mullet/Mohawk.

• My friend Ken comes into town today and a couple of us are dining at my favorite steakhouse tonight, Ruth's Chris.

• Rancid is coming to town in July and I have tickets. See ya in the pit!

Peace out.

* A minute after I wrote about about my invention of the Mulhawk, I found out that someone had already coined this phrase. Day late and a dollar short i guess.

"Never could stand that dog"

I have been trying to slowly expand my musical tastes into territory outside of the hardcore, punk and ska genres.

Crazy, I know.

This is tough for me because I am very particular about what I listen to. But instead of trying to find brand new contemporary artists, I have decided to look back into musical history and find those musicians who I have overlooked.

That's why I was so happy when I (re)discovered the great recording artist Tom Waits. I had known his name for a long time and had seen him in films like Coffee and Cigarettes before. I even had one of his songs on a soundtrack which I really liked, but I never investigated him any further. I don't know why.

So, on a whim, I downloaded, or stole, four of his albums and have been entranced ever since. My favorite album is Bone Machine which includes such great songs as The Earth Died Screaming, Goin' Out West and I Don't Want To Grow Up.

He has this wonderful gruff, raspy voice that completely fits the folksy, beatnik lyrics that spew from his mouth. Like Johnny Cash, you can hear his life experiences just in the way he sings.

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits

Booyakasha

In the spirit of Matt Pinix's last post, I decided to share a clip from one my favorite "ballsy" comedians/interviewers, Ali G.

Here it is.

Respek.

License and Registration, Please

Poor design can be dangerous. Especially when it involves driving in South St. Louis City.

I was stopped at a red light in the left lane of a two lane street. The light turned green and I proceeded straight crossing the street.

Then I saw those cherries light up behind me.

I was pulled over and told that I drove straight through a left turn ONLY lane. Now, I knew exactly what I was doing, though I played dumb with the cop. Yes, I admit I was in the left turn lane. But a left turn ONLY lane? I'm not sure about that. Really, there are two major flaws in the "left turn only lane" argument:

A. The light is a solid green light. Not a green arrow. Once again, no green arrow. Anywhere.

B. The lane continues on across the street for at least 16 more blocks. Coincidentally, once you continue across the street the RIGHT lane is the one that dead ends, not the LEFT.

The only indication of a left turn lane is an left turn arrow painted on the ground. The way I see it, there are several conflicting signals going on. So which one am I suppose to listen too?

Luckily, I was let off with a warning.

Thank you STLPD!

Which Celebrity Do I Resemble Most?

I am sure that most of you, during the course of your life, have been likened to a well-known person. I am no exception.

Pictured here are three of the celebrities that I have been told I look like:

A. Joaquin Phoenix

B. Chris O'Donnell

C. Flea

So, I decided to put it to a vote to all of my readers. Remember, vote your conscience.

Designer Jokes

What’s the difference between a designer and a hooker?
• None. They both get screwed by their clients.
• Clothing.
• A hooker doesn’t try to find a way for a job to take longer.
• For a designer, PMS is not an occupational hazard.
• Nothing. The client inevitably fucks them both.
• Designers and hookers aren’t different; both of their clients can be a pain in the ass.
• A designer gets paid for layouts, a hooker gets laid for payouts.
• Nothing. They’ll both do a quickie, overnight.
• Both are highly paid for feigning enthusiasm and getting fucked.


How many designers does it take to change a light bulb?
• Couldn't say… ask an account executive.
• Does it have to be a light bulb?
• No time to change the lightbulb, just make it look better.
• Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks
How many photographers does it take to change a lightbulb?
• Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine others to say “I could’ve done that.”


How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
• I don’t know, what do you think?


How many copywriters does it take to change a lightbulb?
• I don’t care, I’m not changing another damn thing!


How many web designers does it take to change a lightbulb?
• Three. One to change the structure, one to update the style, and one to blog about the inadequate bulb support offered by today’s socket manufacturers.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Whenever I am working on an expensive, large quantity print job, I always get price quotes from three different printers. But I can only award one, usually the lowest, with the job. So, very much like a threesome, someone always gets left out.

Telling a printer that you aren't going to go with them is very much like breaking up with someone. Example: This was my phone conversation today with the printer who didn't get the job. (I have changed the names of the people involved to protect their anonymity.)

(Rrrrrriiiinnnggggggg)

Me: Hello?

Allen: Hey, hey Casey! It's Allen. I know we haven't spoken to each in a while, but I was hoping we could continue moving forward with that 12-page, full color brochure.

Me: Well Allen, we actually allready had that brochure printed by someone else.

Allen: (silence)

Me: Allen?

Allen: Oh. Well. Huh, I guess that's that. Can I at least ask why?

Me: Another printer came in with a lower bid and ...

Allen: I mean come on! We give you the lowest quotes possible and do great quality work. You'd be lucky if we printed your job!

Me: I know Allen. I know.

Allen: Damn right! So, who are you printing with now?

Me: Allen, why are you doing this?

Allen: Because. Because I want to know.

Me: We went with Widgetron Printing.

Allen: Widgetron?! Well, I guess if you like pixelated images and misaligned pages then that was a good choice. Whatever. It's your portfolio.

Me: That's not fair.

Allen: (sniff-sniff)

Me: Hey, cheer up. We have a bunch of new projects coming up and ...

(Man walks in to Casey's office)

Stan: Hi Casey, your proof is ready.

Allen: Who is that?! Is that Stan Peedman? It sounds like Stan Peedman from Square printing. My God, who aren't you printing with?

Me: Wow. This is awkward.

(Click)

4 More Years of Lush Ladies

My big sis and her friends are fighting for the title of St. Louis Post-Dispatch 20-Buck bar review columnists. And she needs votes. Please follow the directions below to vote for her:

Step 1: Go to www.stltoday.com/entertainment/bars

Step 2: Click on the red "more" link

Step 3: Vote for the LUSH LADIES in the section on the right, where it says Meet the Teams and Vote

Vote early and vote often.

List Serve Surprises

For one week out of every month I help run the list serve at Webster. This mean that when someone sends a mass e-mail to a Webster address that includes a list of e-mail addresses, such as our announcement list, I get to decide which e-mails get sent and which get trashed.

I function as a digital gatekeeper, so to speak. Mostly what I do is filter out spam and other junk e-mails. But every once in a while I will get very strange spam e-mails, like this one:

"OG in 1947 it's for you. Yes.

She should have died after I stuffed her head full of blank paper and busted pages, and I should have died then, too. The sounds of so many footfalls out there was Tightening, almost a profanation. He had GOTTEN AN IDEA. "Paul put his own spoon down. Don't tell me I'm crazy, there's something down there! Trouble was, the nasty thing had a way of escaping and coming back time after time, in one form or another. At first he had been able to work only in painfully short bursts?~W fifteen minutes, maybe half an hour if the story really demanded it of him. or Not"

Weird?

NYC Vacation

This was the scene right outside of my friend's apartment door in Brooklyn during the blizzard a few weeks ago in New York. When it was all said and done, I think they ended up with about 26 inches total. At the time, I was a little unnerved about catching my flight back home to St. Louis. But now I realize it's not every day that I get to witness a blizzard and am very greatful I got to live through one.

Aside from being snowed on, we did get a chance to partying at a very cool drinking establishment and saw an interesting exhibition on the human body.

And of course no trip with to New York would be complete without a photo outside of the Late Show with David Letterman:



Thanks again Ken and Tanner for letting me stay at your place. Later I will post some of my photos from Vegas.

Stranded

I am caught in a blizzard.

What seemed like a good weekend to visit a friend of mine in New York City also turned out to be a good weekend to get a foot of snow. My flight is canceled until tomorrow, so at least I get to hang out here in nyc for an extra day.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Phone Fun

Happy belated New Year to all of my many loyal readers. (insert sarcastic laughter here)

Ever since I bought my new cell phone, I have been toying around with all of its wonderful features like ringtones, the digital camera and text messaging. But, the video ID function beats them all hands down. This function allows you to assign a picture to appear on the phone's screen when someone from your phone book calls you.

I like to find picture of celebrities or just stupid pictures that reflect the caller's personality. Like this one that is assigned to my mom:



Looks just like her too. Anywho, I wanted to give a congratulatory shout out to my friend Matt who just landed a job at a law firm. Good job buddy. Now I know who to call when I ... er, nevermind.