A Dreamworld of Magic

I saw this skit on Saturday Night Live last week and had to post it. It's a great satire on rap music. Peace out, homie.

The Queen Mum

Here are some excerpts from the Queen Mums Board of Remembrance. Forwarded to me by the Jan.

"When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will ever smile for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".

A.Christie,Hendon.

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"I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"

D.Holmes, Somerset.

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"She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later though, it was sickening".

B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.

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"I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the day off".

S.Wilson, Bristol.

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"How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal family without being accused of being homosexual".

J. Fletcher, High Wycombe.

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"On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences".

T.Watson, Ilford.

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"Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel better"

P.McGregor, Southampton.

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"I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so again until her majesty is buried"

E. Gorman, Derbyshire.

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"Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".

R. Combes, Romford.

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"No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a smile. Just like a retard"

G. Hollins, East Sussex.

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"I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you know its not true' she said, 'you don't smell of shit'. She was a wondrous person".

E.Collier, London.

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"Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".

G.Williams, West Midlands.

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"She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like us in a good way. God bless you ma'am".

L. Weller, Harlow.

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"If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless bastard!"

J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.

My First Interview

Recently a college student e-mailed me and asked me to complete a series of interview questions for an assignment about the profession of graphic design. I happily obliged. Please ignore any spelling or grammer discrepancies. It was my first interview after all. Below is the text:


What made you want to become a graphic designer?
When I was younger I was always wanted to become a cartoonist. I always really liked the idea of getting paid to draw pictures. But soon I became increasingly more interested in the lettering and the type that went into my cartoons, thus spawning my love of typography.

Then in high school I started making a lot of T-shirts and program covers for different athletic teams, not knowing that what I was doing was called graphic design. It wasn't until later, after I had met a few older college design students, that I realized I wanted to become a professional graphic designer myself.


What courses did you study in school/university?
If you are going to be studying graphic design as a profession, you first need to develop your "chops" so to speak. So, before I really got into the core graphic design classes, I took subjects like painting, drawing, photography and sculpture to learn the basics of form, color, texture, etc. After that I took classes that focused on typography, illustration, information graphics and Web design.

I was also fortunate enough to attend a school that made students take general education classes to make them well-rounded. This is key, because most of the time when you are designing in the real world, the content of the piece is not about graphic design. So knowing about science or literature would really help you if you were designing a science text book or a novel.


What does your job involve?
I serve as an in-house graphic designer for Webster University's marketing department. Basically, I design print and online materials like newsletters, postcards, brochures, flyers, programs and invitations for the different departments at Webster.

When I get a job in I usually have a meeting or at least a phone call with the client who tells me the purpose of the piece I'm designing and gives me the content. Then I design the piece and show it to them to see if they have any revisions. Once the piece is ready to go, I work with the printers to actually produce it.


What advice would you give to anyone wanting to follow the same career path?
-Work as hard as you possibly can
-Develop good drawing and sketching skills
-Learn how to conceptually think about a subject
-Study art and design history. Learn from those who came before you
-Stay in touch with what is going on in the current design scene
-Develop other interests
-Think about things from someone else's perspective
-Learn about printing and production
-Learn about business and sales


What has been your greatest career achievement?
I'm just happy I am able to living at graphic design. I get paid to do what I love for a living. It's the best.


Cool huh? I was off all last week too. I drank some, got a sweedish massage and went out to dinner almost every night. But alas it back to work now. Arg!

Now We Are Talking

One of my new favorite design sites is typeradio, a collection of radio interviews from various graphic designers and typographers. I have to too, of course, mention the interview with my creative hero Stefan Sagmeister. Very insightful.

On a personal note, I would like to thank Scott and Sarah for letting me be in their wedding party. I had a blast and wish you all the best in the future.

Get off my (blog) back!!!

Due to some recent comments posted by my fellow partners in crime, I felt obligated to make a post. I did find this cool Russian Constructivists flash movie by Kevin M. Smith that brings El Lissitzky's static print work to life.

On a personal note, yesterday was my 27th birthday. The cool thing about turning 27 is... well, nothing so far as I can tell. But I'll keep you all updated in case something does happen.

Undo

True with computers, as well as in life.

image courtesy of kottle.org

Pentagram Movie

In the latest edition of the Designer Series, Hillman Curtis and his company has produced a nice documentry about the design collective Pentagram, historically one of the greatest corporate design firms ever. It's pretty amazing to hear what these great graphic designers have to say about the profession, given their experience.

Evil Air Puff

During a visit to the optometrist yesterday, I ran into my old arch nemesis: The glaucoma testing machine. Now, I know he is there to catch any early signs of the disease, but does he have to do it by shooting a forceful stream of compressed air into my eye? Bastard. We shall meet again glaucoma testing machine, only next time I will have the upperhand. Just wait...

On another note, after much internal debate and discussion, I have finally decided to apply for graduate school next year. I am still gathering names, but here are my top choices:

Cal Arts
School of Visual Arts
Institute of Design
Indiana University
RISD
The Art Center

If any of you out there have insider info about any of these schools, or just about making the jump from a job to graduate school in general, I would LOVE to hear from you. Well, I am off to see one of my all time favorite bands play tonight, Mustard Plug. See ya in the pit!

Beating Up 12-Year-Olds

Out of all the stories I have read on mcsweeneys.net, A Realistic Assessment of How Many 12-Year-Olds I Could Beat Up Before They Overtook Me by Matt Schweiger still is probably my favorite of all time. And plus, it looks like he went to Mizzou.

Enjoy!

Mysteries ???

I know, I know... I haven't posted anything ages. With all of my work it's tough for me to get around to it. I wish I could be as consistent and interesting as some people. But I thought I would share some of my recent Web design work with you all. Accidental Mysteries is an exhibition of found, vernacualar photography by John and Teenuh Foster. The images are all very weird and cool. Check it out, yall!

Focus On Me

I have been fortunate enough to have some of my work featured on a new design Web site. Dailyminefield.com has a focus section where they feature a particular artist, designer or illustrator and have them answer one question: What inspires your art? Because this section changes regularly, I will relay what I wrote:

"My personal inspiration comes from the relationship between the internal and external forces in my life. As I experience the outside world, specific events (a song I listen to, conversations I have with people, observing other pieces of art) conjure up inside of me that immediate and primal feeling that shouts "I must create art, now." This feeling is the impetus that serves as the seed and the fuel for the creation of my art, regardless of what form it takes in the end."

Thanks to Patrick C for giving me some props!

WU Name

Apparently, my Wu-Name is "Sullen Choirboy." Find out what yours is.

A Ninja Pays Half My Rent

This is a few years old, but it's still funny as all get out. A Ninja Pays Half My Rent is a 5 minute short film directed by Steven K. Tsuchida that premiered at the 2003 Sundance Film Festival. In the film, the main character Barry suddenly loses his roommate and is forced to share his apartment with a trained assassin. The film is very subtle and just hilarious. And, most importantly, it answers the question: What would it be like to room with a ninja?

The Urban Dictionary

One of my favorite Web sites I have come across recently is the hilarious Urban Dictionary. It's the most comprehensive collection of slang terms I have ever seen in one place. What's cool is that anyone can post a new definition of a slang word, so the list just keeps growing and growing.

It has all of the favorite slang words that we know and love. But my favorites are the ones that I have never heard of and no one would actually use in casual conversation. Words like: Dick Cheney, quagmo, Abe Lincoln and panama city speed bump. I encourage you to look through list and do some exploring.

My E-mail is a Wimp

Today I sent out a mass e-mail to my friends alerting them I have redesigned and updated my Web site. And like with any mass e-mail, I received some bounce backs. What I thought was strange was the bounce back message my e-mail client sent to me:

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at server289.com. I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses. This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out.

Sorry it didn't work out? Are you breaking up with me or something? The wording of error messages can be a tricky business. How can you say it in such a way that's professional and straight forward, but not too friendly as too lose credibility. I think this message gives the impression that my e-mail client is a touchy, feely wimp who was last picked in gym class. I've given up? Since when were computers allowed to use contractions?

Book vs. Movie

I just finished reading Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis, and like many other books, this one was turned into a movie. Now, sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. In this case, the latter is true. The movie completely misrepresented the book to the point of being laughable. To summarize, the novel is about a young man in college up east who comes home to his weathly parents in L.A. for Christmas break. Clay, the main character, falls back into his old life of drinking, drugs and apathetic behavior. He is a morally bankrupt wanderer who drifts aimlessly through his life witnessing and participating in deviant behavior. When the book ends, Clay is still apathetic to his emotions and the evil that surrounds him.

Now the movie completely screws everything up. They portray Clay as the "good friend" who is out to help his drug addicted friend Julian get out of debt. Let's just say the movie missed the entire point of the book. They completely changed characters, added plot points that didn't happen in the book and and turned the ending into an Aesop fable.

Book: Two Thumbs Up
Movie: Two Thumbs Down

GitoGito Hustler

A few months ago I made a trip down to the Creepy Crawl to see this great new ska band I discovered named Streetlight Manifesto. As I walk in, the door man says "Streetlight is not playing tonight." Fuck. I ask who is playing, but it's loud and I can't quite hear him. Still disappointed, I decide to stick around. Then after a while, I see these four, very short Japanese girls get up on stage. Each one picked up their respective instruments and the lead singer yells into the microphone "Are wu weady to wock and woll?!" The band breaks into the crazy-loud punk song all sung in Japanese. It was so loud that I don't think I would have been able to understand the words even if they were in English. They later introduce themselves in their broken english as GitoGito Hustler. I really couldn't believe that this hardcore music was coming out of these tiny women. Eventually their set ended and The Spunks came out and brought the house down. Long live GitoGito Hustler!

Nudity at the Grocery Store

I was about to stroll through the door of my local Schnucks on Saturday afternoon to pick up a few groceries, when all of a sudden this nine-year-old kid comes bolting out the exit door with two Schnuck's employees in hot pursuit. One of the employees was screaming "You may as well stop kid, we're gonna catch you." Now, apparently this shoplifter, who had about four or five items on him, had smuggled his loot out by stuffing it down his pants. And I think he may of had to unbutton his shorts to get everything to fit. So, as he was running away from the Schnuck's gestapo, his jean shorts began to fall off with each step. Unfortunately, the kid also decided not to wear any underwear that day. They eventually cornered him and it was all over. There were about ten customers, including myself, standing around watching this whole thing go down. What's funny is that no one was scared or tried to help chase the kid down. Everyone was too busy laughing.

Book Report: Survivor

I once heard a comedian do a bit about how after people read a book, they always find a way to work it into a conversation to make themselves sound smart and refined. So, I recently finished reading Chuck Palahniuk's novel, Survivor. The book is about a former religious cult member, Tender Branson, who has hijacked an airplane that is two hours away from crashing into the Australian outback. Alone, he records his life story into the airplane's little black box so that it will live on forever, even if he can't. Very dark at times, Survivor was full of interesting and absurd characters including a psychic, barren surrogate mother, a despicable agent and a weathly couple obsessed over the proper way to eat gourmet food in social situations. I highly recommend Survivor to all those who are looking for a good read. See, now don't I seem smarter now?

While I was looking for a picture of the book's cover on the internet, I must have found at least four different cover designs. I feel like I need to read it again with each cover and see if the ending turns out differently.

Paul Shirley, Bench Warmer

Paul Shirley, bench-warming small forward for the Phoenix Suns, kept an online journal during a five-game stretch. Apparently, the diary caused quite the stir in the media. It tells the interesting and somewhat bleak story of what it is like to be an NBA player. I guess no job is not without its problems.

My First Entry

This is the inaugural post to my weblog, Solipsism! Once I figure out what the hell I am doing, I will bring a little more focus to it. But for now, see you later.