Solipsism

Sing Us a Song, You're the Piano Man

2007-12-16T16:22:00.000-08:00

In honor of the Christmas, excuse me, holiday season, I would like to present one of my favorite McSweeney's stories: What I Would Be Thinking About If I Were Billy Joel Driving Toward a Holiday Party Where I Knew There Was Going to Be a Piano.

XBXRX

2007-08-16T18:28:00.000-07:00

After hearing a recommendation from a reliable source, I decided to start listening to a fairly new (to me) punk band from Alabama called XBXRX.

Their sound has been described as new wave-influenced, improvised and desconstructed. I don't know what that means. To me it's just really exciting, fast and bordering on pure noise at certain points. Which means, of course, I freakin' love it.

But what's wonderful about them is something so simple — they're still a band, they still tour and they make records. So many of my favorite bands are broken up that I never get into "new" music.

If you're interested in listening to them, several tracks from their latest album, Wars, can be heard here.

Doh!

2007-08-05T10:37:00.000-07:00

I'd like to thank simpsonizeme.com for helping me fulfill one of my dreams — becoming a cartoon character in The Simpsons universe.

By visiting their site, you can upload a photo of yourself and magically transform it into a Simpsons style cartoon, yellow skin and all. Then you can go back and tweak your character to make it look like you as much as possible. They have a decent amount of options of adjustment to chose from including hair style, eyes. mouth, etc.

I have always wondered what I would look like if I was dropped into The Simpsons world, and now I do. This is only getting me more excited to go see the movie.

Killed Work: University Folder

2007-06-26T10:04:00.000-07:00

Recently, I redesigned the new folder for Webster University. It's a general folder that they use for a bunch of different stuff. I designed two different options. And, of course, they chose my least favorite one. The folder cover, shown above, was deemed "too whimsical". I'm not showing the one that was chosen because I'm not a big fan of it.

Designing something like this is tough for me because there really is no content to design around. They just said "Make a cover with the Webster logo." When given something like this, I usually tend to do a purely typographical solution so it can be exciting but remain pretty neutral. Use the school colors, make the word "Webster" big, and BAM you're done. Right? I guess not.

Oh well. I still kind of like it.

Back and on the Attack

2007-06-25T12:46:00.001-07:00

Who doesn't love a redesign? Me. That's who. But i figured this would be a good time to retool Solipsism a leetle beet. You know, so it integrates better with my branding and mission statement.

Latest Casey highlights:

• After a few recommendations, I am trying to get into the HBO show The Wire. It's a pretty raw cop show. As if we need another one of those. But so far I like what I see.

• I am headed to Milwaukee in July for my friends Matt wedding.

• I got a new bike that is tre cool.

• I helped my buddy ken move to Kansas City for his medical residency.

More details as this story unfolds ...

My New Fighting Technique is Unstoppable

2007-04-23T13:27:00.000-07:00

After watching a podcast by David Rees, I have really been getting into his comic strip My New fighting Technique is Unstoppable. At first I didn't quite know what to make of it. It took a couple of strips before I started "getting" the humor.

The strip basically consists of clip-art karate guys saying a bunch of violent, crazy shit to each other. That's it. Brilliant!

And please excuse the blog hiatus. I've been mastering my Ghost Fog Saber Technique (which is a cure for your disease of Not Getting Enough Ass Kicking).

Happy Armageddon

2006-12-31T09:13:00.000-08:00

Last night I watched this show on the History Channel called "Last Days on Earth". The show ranked and discussed all the different ways in which the human species could be eradicated.

The threats were informally divided into natural disasters like black holes, gamma rays, asteroids and comets and more man-made or at least man-influenced threats like artificial intelligence, nuclear weapons, viruses and global warming. The chances for each specific threat vary, but one thing is for certain: they all do have the potential to destroy us.

I didn't sleep very well that night.

It is interesting/distressing to me to think about what force will eventually bring down the human race. I would honestly hope it will be something that was out of our control like an asteroid collision. It would make me sad to think that we brought about our own demise.

But even if we do dodge all of these bullets, in 5 billion years the sun will burn out and render the earth unlivable.

Happy new year everybody.

This season on Lost: My Cell Phone

2006-12-06T13:25:00.000-08:00

I lost my cell phone either yesterday or the day before. I can't really remember.

I have always been afraid something like this would happen. As someone without a landline at home, it was pretty crippling for me. Luckily, I'm getting a new one sent to me by Monday, but until then no texting, no calling, no nothing.

For the next few days my main communication device will be e-mail. E-mail is great, but I think the response time expectation is much slower when compared to the telephone. If you e-mail me and I write you back two days later, that's pretty normal. If you call me and leave a message and I call you back two days later, that's pretty late.

Actually, I was thinking about not getting a new phone and just hanging out with all the people I know all the time. This way when someone wants to talk to me, all they have to do is say is "Casey" and then I'll just go "What?"

Parking Problem

2006-10-09T11:01:00.000-07:00

I am always on the lookout for something that I can contribute to Found Magazine. That is why I was so happy when I found this little gem in the parking lot at Target:

It was laying on the ground between two cars, none of which were mine. I am still tying to figure out if the writer of the note was trying to call the poor parker an asshole twice or if they just forgot to add the comma after the first asshole. Either way I think it's funny. I'll let you all know if it gets published.

I Am Puzzled

2006-10-01T22:34:00.000-07:00

After a month and a half of tedious work, I have finally completed my 1000 piece jig saw puzzle of Leonardo Da Vinci's Mona Lisa. I will say that it turned out to be more difficult than I had anticipated.

There were really two main challanges with this particular puzzle. First, about 40% of all the pieces were solid black, making that section of the puzzle a large game of trial and error. Second, sometimes two pieces would "appear" as if they fit together, when in fact one of the pieces would just be very similar to its correct counterpart.

It was a lot of fun putting this together, but I think I will wait a while before I start a new one. I have some masterpieces of my one to work on.

Frightening Statistics

2006-09-13T08:57:00.000-07:00

When you do a Google Image search for the word "frightened" you might expect to find Horror movie posters or pictures of people running scared for their lives. And you will. But, strangely enough, you will also find an image I made. In fact, as of right now, it is the very first image on the list.

A few years ago I drew this picture and decided to name it "frightened" for obvious reasons. Little did I know that that word would become the number one search string for my site. So far in September the word "frightened" has got me garnered me 51 hits, verses "casey conroy" which has got me a measly 7 hits.

I do like the fact that even with super refined technology, results can still be unpredictable. And hey, I guess any sort of traffic flow to a site is good. Even if it's a bunch of apparently really frightened people.

BOO!

Sign of the Apocalypse

2006-08-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

Yakov Smirnoff is teaching at my alma mater.

Peace Out, Man

2006-06-16T14:28:00.000-07:00

Let see, what has been happening:

• A social poster I designed made its way into an online exhibition. You will have to click thru the presentation to get to mine. I think I am #26 out of 34.

• A focus group review my latest brochure design and, well, they didn't hold anything back. It's interesting/cruel to watch a video tape of six people sitting around discussing how much the brochure that you have been sweating over sucks. It was a real reality check.

• I invented a new slang word: Mulhawk. It's a combination Mullet/Mohawk.

• My friend Ken comes into town today and a couple of us are dining at my favorite steakhouse tonight, Ruth's Chris.

• Rancid is coming to town in July and I have tickets. See ya in the pit!

Peace out.

* A minute after I wrote about about my invention of the Mulhawk, I found out that someone had already coined this phrase. Day late and a dollar short i guess.

"Never could stand that dog"

2006-05-04T13:46:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to slowly expand my musical tastes into territory outside of the hardcore, punk and ska genres.

Crazy, I know.

This is tough for me because I am very particular about what I listen to. But instead of trying to find brand new contemporary artists, I have decided to look back into musical history and find those musicians who I have overlooked.

That's why I was so happy when I (re)discovered the great recording artist Tom Waits. I had known his name for a long time and had seen him in films like Coffee and Cigarettes before. I even had one of his songs on a soundtrack which I really liked, but I never investigated him any further. I don't know why.

So, on a whim, I downloaded, or stole, four of his albums and have been entranced ever since. My favorite album is Bone Machine which includes such great songs as The Earth Died Screaming, Goin' Out West and I Don't Want To Grow Up.

He has this wonderful gruff, raspy voice that completely fits the folksy, beatnik lyrics that spew from his mouth. Like Johnny Cash, you can hear his life experiences just in the way he sings.

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." -Tom Waits

Booyakasha

2006-05-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

In the spirit of Matt Pinix's last post, I decided to share a clip from one my favorite "ballsy" comedians/interviewers, Ali G.

Here it is.

Respek.

License and Registration, Please

2006-04-11T10:26:00.000-07:00

Poor design can be dangerous. Especially when it involves driving in South St. Louis City.

I was stopped at a red light in the left lane of a two lane street. The light turned green and I proceeded straight crossing the street.

Then I saw those cherries light up behind me.

I was pulled over and told that I drove straight through a left turn ONLY lane. Now, I knew exactly what I was doing, though I played dumb with the cop. Yes, I admit I was in the left turn lane. But a left turn ONLY lane? I'm not sure about that. Really, there are two major flaws in the "left turn only lane" argument:

A. The light is a solid green light. Not a green arrow. Once again, no green arrow. Anywhere.

B. The lane continues on across the street for at least 16 more blocks. Coincidentally, once you continue across the street the RIGHT lane is the one that dead ends, not the LEFT.

The only indication of a left turn lane is an left turn arrow painted on the ground. The way I see it, there are several conflicting signals going on. So which one am I suppose to listen too?

Luckily, I was let off with a warning.

Thank you STLPD!

Which Celebrity Do I Resemble Most?

2006-04-06T13:41:00.000-07:00

I am sure that most of you, during the course of your life, have been likened to a well-known person. I am no exception.

Pictured here are three of the celebrities that I have been told I look like:

A. Joaquin Phoenix

B. Chris O'Donnell

C. Flea

So, I decided to put it to a vote to all of my readers. Remember, vote your conscience.

Designer Jokes

2006-03-23T11:26:00.000-08:00

What’s the difference between a designer and a hooker?
• None. They both get screwed by their clients.
• Clothing.
• A hooker doesn’t try to find a way for a job to take longer.
• For a designer, PMS is not an occupational hazard.
• Nothing. The client inevitably fucks them both.
• Designers and hookers aren’t different; both of their clients can be a pain in the ass.
• A designer gets paid for layouts, a hooker gets laid for payouts.
• Nothing. They’ll both do a quickie, overnight.
• Both are highly paid for feigning enthusiasm and getting fucked.

How many designers does it take to change a light bulb?
• Couldn't say… ask an account executive.
• Does it have to be a light bulb?
• No time to change the lightbulb, just make it look better.
• Ten. One to change it, and nine to reassure him about how good it looks
How many photographers does it take to change a lightbulb?
• Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine others to say “I could’ve done that.”

How many art directors does it take to change a lightbulb?
• I don’t know, what do you think?

How many copywriters does it take to change a lightbulb?
• I don’t care, I’m not changing another damn thing!

How many web designers does it take to change a lightbulb?
• Three. One to change the structure, one to update the style, and one to blog about the inadequate bulb support offered by today’s socket manufacturers.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

2006-03-22T11:22:00.000-08:00

Whenever I am working on an expensive, large quantity print job, I always get price quotes from three different printers. But I can only award one, usually the lowest, with the job. So, very much like a threesome, someone always gets left out.

Telling a printer that you aren't going to go with them is very much like breaking up with someone. Example: This was my phone conversation today with the printer who didn't get the job. (I have changed the names of the people involved to protect their anonymity.)

(Rrrrrriiiinnnggggggg)

Me: Hello?

Allen: Hey, hey Casey! It's Allen. I know we haven't spoken to each in a while, but I was hoping we could continue moving forward with that 12-page, full color brochure.

Me: Well Allen, we actually allready had that brochure printed by someone else.

Allen: (silence)

Me: Allen?

Allen: Oh. Well. Huh, I guess that's that. Can I at least ask why?

Me: Another printer came in with a lower bid and ...

Allen: I mean come on! We give you the lowest quotes possible and do great quality work. You'd be lucky if we printed your job!

Me: I know Allen. I know.

Allen: Damn right! So, who are you printing with now?

Me: Allen, why are you doing this?

Allen: Because. Because I want to know.

Me: We went with Widgetron Printing.

Allen: Widgetron?! Well, I guess if you like pixelated images and misaligned pages then that was a good choice. Whatever. It's your portfolio.

Me: That's not fair.

Allen: (sniff-sniff)

Me: Hey, cheer up. We have a bunch of new projects coming up and ...

(Man walks in to Casey's office)

Stan: Hi Casey, your proof is ready.

Allen: Who is that?! Is that Stan Peedman? It sounds like Stan Peedman from Square printing. My God, who aren't you printing with?

Me: Wow. This is awkward.

(Click)

4 More Years of Lush Ladies

2006-03-10T11:55:00.000-08:00

My big sis and her friends are fighting for the title of St. Louis Post-Dispatch 20-Buck bar review columnists. And she needs votes. Please follow the directions below to vote for her:

Step 1: Go to www.stltoday.com/entertainment/bars

Step 2: Click on the red "more" link

Step 3: Vote for the LUSH LADIES in the section on the right, where it says Meet the Teams and Vote

Vote early and vote often.

List Serve Surprises

2006-02-27T08:47:00.000-08:00

For one week out of every month I help run the list serve at Webster. This mean that when someone sends a mass e-mail to a Webster address that includes a list of e-mail addresses, such as our announcement list, I get to decide which e-mails get sent and which get trashed.

I function as a digital gatekeeper, so to speak. Mostly what I do is filter out spam and other junk e-mails. But every once in a while I will get very strange spam e-mails, like this one:

"OG in 1947 it's for you. Yes.

She should have died after I stuffed her head full of blank paper and busted pages, and I should have died then, too. The sounds of so many footfalls out there was Tightening, almost a profanation. He had GOTTEN AN IDEA. "Paul put his own spoon down. Don't tell me I'm crazy, there's something down there! Trouble was, the nasty thing had a way of escaping and coming back time after time, in one form or another. At first he had been able to work only in painfully short bursts?~W fifteen minutes, maybe half an hour if the story really demanded it of him. or Not"

Weird?

NYC Vacation

2006-02-26T16:29:00.000-08:00

This was the scene right outside of my friend's apartment door in Brooklyn during the blizzard a few weeks ago in New York. When it was all said and done, I think they ended up with about 26 inches total. At the time, I was a little unnerved about catching my flight back home to St. Louis. But now I realize it's not every day that I get to witness a blizzard and am very greatful I got to live through one.

Aside from being snowed on, we did get a chance to partying at a very cool drinking establishment and saw an interesting exhibition on the human body.

And of course no trip with to New York would be complete without a photo outside of the Late Show with David Letterman:

Thanks again Ken and Tanner for letting me stay at your place. Later I will post some of my photos from Vegas.

Stranded

2006-02-12T06:50:00.000-08:00

I am caught in a blizzard.

What seemed like a good weekend to visit a friend of mine in New York City also turned out to be a good weekend to get a foot of snow. My flight is canceled until tomorrow, so at least I get to hang out here in nyc for an extra day.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Phone Fun

2006-01-12T13:13:00.000-08:00

Happy belated New Year to all of my many loyal readers. (insert sarcastic laughter here)

Ever since I bought my new cell phone, I have been toying around with all of its wonderful features like ringtones, the digital camera and text messaging. But, the video ID function beats them all hands down. This function allows you to assign a picture to appear on the phone's screen when someone from your phone book calls you.

I like to find picture of celebrities or just stupid pictures that reflect the caller's personality. Like this one that is assigned to my mom:

Looks just like her too. Anywho, I wanted to give a congratulatory shout out to my friend Matt who just landed a job at a law firm. Good job buddy. Now I know who to call when I ... er, nevermind.

A Dreamworld of Magic

2005-12-20T20:08:00.000-08:00

I saw this skit on Saturday Night Live last week and had to post it. It's a great satire on rap music. Peace out, homie.

The Queen Mum

2005-12-09T12:02:00.000-08:00

Here are some excerpts from the Queen Mums Board of Remembrance. Forwarded to me by the Jan.

"When Diana died I swore I would never smile again, but eventually I did. Now the Queen Mum has gone I cannot image that I will ever smile for the rest of my life, but I will probably break that one too".

A.Christie,Hendon.

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"I thought she would never die, she has let us all down very badly"

D.Holmes, Somerset.

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"She was a trooper and she never gave up. I remember one time she was visiting a school and I asked her if she would like to make a visit to the cloakroom before she left. 'No' she replied, 'I didn't give in to the Nazis and I won't give in to the bladder'. That's how she was, a fighter, who refused to be beaten by anything. She pissed herself later though, it was sickening".

B. Forrester, North Yorkshire.

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"I am absolutely devastated, at least we could have got the day off".

S.Wilson, Bristol.

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"How refreshing to be able to mourn the death of a member of the Royal family without being accused of being homosexual".

J. Fletcher, High Wycombe.

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"On behalf on all blacks, I send the sincerest condolences".

T.Watson, Ilford.

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"Bomb Iraq for us Tony, its the only thing that will make us feel better"

P.McGregor, Southampton.

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"I have been unable to masturbate for five days, and will not do so again until her majesty is buried"

E. Gorman, Derbyshire.

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"Good God, who is next, Geri Halliwell?".

R. Combes, Romford.

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"No matter how she felt, no matter the situation, she always wore a smile. Just like a retard"

G. Hollins, East Sussex.

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"I remember she came to visit us in the East End one time. She was so kind, so generous and so sweet. She whispered softly in my ear, 'you know its not true' she said, 'you don't smell of shit'. She was a wondrous person".

E.Collier, London.

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"Whichever way you look at it, it just is not as exciting as Diana".

G.Williams, West Midlands.

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"She was one of us, and by that I don't mean she perpetrated insurance fraud or lied about expense claims. She was like us in a good way. God bless you ma'am".

L. Weller, Harlow.

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"If only I could get my hands on that fish bone right now, you heartless bastard!"

J. Hedges, Cowdenbeath.

My First Interview

2005-11-29T13:20:00.000-08:00

Recently a college student e-mailed me and asked me to complete a series of interview questions for an assignment about the profession of graphic design. I happily obliged. Please ignore any spelling or grammer discrepancies. It was my first interview after all. Below is the text:

What made you want to become a graphic designer?
When I was younger I was always wanted to become a cartoonist. I always really liked the idea of getting paid to draw pictures. But soon I became increasingly more interested in the lettering and the type that went into my cartoons, thus spawning my love of typography.

Then in high school I started making a lot of T-shirts and program covers for different athletic teams, not knowing that what I was doing was called graphic design. It wasn't until later, after I had met a few older college design students, that I realized I wanted to become a professional graphic designer myself.

What courses did you study in school/university?
If you are going to be studying graphic design as a profession, you first need to develop your "chops" so to speak. So, before I really got into the core graphic design classes, I took subjects like painting, drawing, photography and sculpture to learn the basics of form, color, texture, etc. After that I took classes that focused on typography, illustration, information graphics and Web design.

I was also fortunate enough to attend a school that made students take general education classes to make them well-rounded. This is key, because most of the time when you are designing in the real world, the content of the piece is not about graphic design. So knowing about science or literature would really help you if you were designing a science text book or a novel.

What does your job involve?
I serve as an in-house graphic designer for Webster University's marketing department. Basically, I design print and online materials like newsletters, postcards, brochures, flyers, programs and invitations for the different departments at Webster.

When I get a job in I usually have a meeting or at least a phone call with the client who tells me the purpose of the piece I'm designing and gives me the content. Then I design the piece and show it to them to see if they have any revisions. Once the piece is ready to go, I work with the printers to actually produce it.

What advice would you give to anyone wanting to follow the same career path?
-Work as hard as you possibly can
-Develop good drawing and sketching skills
-Learn how to conceptually think about a subject
-Study art and design history. Learn from those who came before you
-Stay in touch with what is going on in the current design scene
-Develop other interests
-Think about things from someone else's perspective
-Learn about printing and production
-Learn about business and sales

What has been your greatest career achievement?
I'm just happy I am able to living at graphic design. I get paid to do what I love for a living. It's the best.

Cool huh? I was off all last week too. I drank some, got a sweedish massage and went out to dinner almost every night. But alas it back to work now. Arg!

Now We Are Talking

2005-11-01T19:49:00.000-08:00

One of my new favorite design sites is typeradio, a collection of radio interviews from various graphic designers and typographers. I have to too, of course, mention the interview with my creative hero Stefan Sagmeister. Very insightful.

On a personal note, I would like to thank Scott and Sarah for letting me be in their wedding party. I had a blast and wish you all the best in the future.

Get off my (blog) back!!!

2005-10-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Due to some recent comments posted by my fellow partners in crime, I felt obligated to make a post. I did find this cool Russian Constructivists flash movie by Kevin M. Smith that brings El Lissitzky's static print work to life.

On a personal note, yesterday was my 27th birthday. The cool thing about turning 27 is... well, nothing so far as I can tell. But I'll keep you all updated in case something does happen.

Undo

2005-09-20T09:25:00.000-07:00

True with computers, as well as in life.

image courtesy of kottle.org

Pentagram Movie

2005-09-13T14:23:00.000-07:00

In the latest edition of the Designer Series, Hillman Curtis and his company has produced a nice documentry about the design collective Pentagram, historically one of the greatest corporate design firms ever. It's pretty amazing to hear what these great graphic designers have to say about the profession, given their experience.

Evil Air Puff

2005-09-11T11:03:00.000-07:00

During a visit to the optometrist yesterday, I ran into my old arch nemesis: The glaucoma testing machine. Now, I know he is there to catch any early signs of the disease, but does he have to do it by shooting a forceful stream of compressed air into my eye? Bastard. We shall meet again glaucoma testing machine, only next time I will have the upperhand. Just wait...

On another note, after much internal debate and discussion, I have finally decided to apply for graduate school next year. I am still gathering names, but here are my top choices:

Cal Arts
School of Visual Arts
Institute of Design
Indiana University
RISD
The Art Center

If any of you out there have insider info about any of these schools, or just about making the jump from a job to graduate school in general, I would LOVE to hear from you. Well, I am off to see one of my all time favorite bands play tonight, Mustard Plug. See ya in the pit!

Beating Up 12-Year-Olds

2005-09-07T14:45:00.000-07:00

Out of all the stories I have read on mcsweeneys.net, A Realistic Assessment of How Many 12-Year-Olds I Could Beat Up Before They Overtook Me by Matt Schweiger still is probably my favorite of all time. And plus, it looks like he went to Mizzou.

Enjoy!

Mysteries ???

2005-08-31T08:30:00.000-07:00

I know, I know... I haven't posted anything ages. With all of my work it's tough for me to get around to it. I wish I could be as consistent and interesting as some people. But I thought I would share some of my recent Web design work with you all. Accidental Mysteries is an exhibition of found, vernacualar photography by John and Teenuh Foster. The images are all very weird and cool. Check it out, yall!

Focus On Me

2005-08-02T07:12:00.000-07:00

I have been fortunate enough to have some of my work featured on a new design Web site. Dailyminefield.com has a focus section where they feature a particular artist, designer or illustrator and have them answer one question: What inspires your art? Because this section changes regularly, I will relay what I wrote:

"My personal inspiration comes from the relationship between the internal and external forces in my life. As I experience the outside world, specific events (a song I listen to, conversations I have with people, observing other pieces of art) conjure up inside of me that immediate and primal feeling that shouts "I must create art, now." This feeling is the impetus that serves as the seed and the fuel for the creation of my art, regardless of what form it takes in the end."

Thanks to Patrick C for giving me some props!

WU Name

2005-07-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

Apparently, my Wu-Name is "Sullen Choirboy." Find out what yours is.

A Ninja Pays Half My Rent

2005-07-11T14:12:00.000-07:00

This is a few years old, but it's still funny as all get out. A Ninja Pays Half My Rent is a 5 minute short film directed by Steven K. Tsuchida that premiered at the 2003 Sundance Film Festival. In the film, the main character Barry suddenly loses his roommate and is forced to share his apartment with a trained assassin. The film is very subtle and just hilarious. And, most importantly, it answers the question: What would it be like to room with a ninja?

The Urban Dictionary

2005-07-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite Web sites I have come across recently is the hilarious Urban Dictionary. It's the most comprehensive collection of slang terms I have ever seen in one place. What's cool is that anyone can post a new definition of a slang word, so the list just keeps growing and growing.

It has all of the favorite slang words that we know and love. But my favorites are the ones that I have never heard of and no one would actually use in casual conversation. Words like: Dick Cheney, quagmo, Abe Lincoln and panama city speed bump. I encourage you to look through list and do some exploring.

Photoshop Wars

2005-07-06T13:20:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago during a light work load, my boss, an editor here and myself engaged in a digital battle we have dubbed as "Photoshop Wars." These wars consisted of taking pictures of our heads and superimposing them onto other people's bodies in photographs we found on the Web. Now, while I can't show you most of the really funny results, due to incriminating legal issues, I will include one that was part of a series of the three of us standing next to celebrities. My boss ended up arm in arm with the wookie, Chewbacca.

My E-mail is a Wimp

2005-06-30T09:20:00.000-07:00

Today I sent out a mass e-mail to my friends alerting them I have redesigned and updated my Web site. And like with any mass e-mail, I received some bounce backs. What I thought was strange was the bounce back message my e-mail client sent to me:

Hi. This is the qmail-send program at server289.com. I'm afraid I wasn't able to deliver your message to the following addresses. This is a permanent error; I've given up. Sorry it didn't work out.

Sorry it didn't work out? Are you breaking up with me or something? The wording of error messages can be a tricky business. How can you say it in such a way that's professional and straight forward, but not too friendly as too lose credibility. I think this message gives the impression that my e-mail client is a touchy, feely wimp who was last picked in gym class. I've given up? Since when were computers allowed to use contractions?

Book vs. Movie

2005-06-27T08:20:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis, and like many other books, this one was turned into a movie. Now, sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. In this case, the latter is true. The movie completely misrepresented the book to the point of being laughable. To summarize, the novel is about a young man in college up east who comes home to his weathly parents in L.A. for Christmas break. Clay, the main character, falls back into his old life of drinking, drugs and apathetic behavior. He is a morally bankrupt wanderer who drifts aimlessly through his life witnessing and participating in deviant behavior. When the book ends, Clay is still apathetic to his emotions and the evil that surrounds him.

Now the movie completely screws everything up. They portray Clay as the "good friend" who is out to help his drug addicted friend Julian get out of debt. Let's just say the movie missed the entire point of the book. They completely changed characters, added plot points that didn't happen in the book and and turned the ending into an Aesop fable.

Book: Two Thumbs Up
Movie: Two Thumbs Down

GitoGito Hustler

2005-06-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I made a trip down to the Creepy Crawl to see this great new ska band I discovered named Streetlight Manifesto. As I walk in, the door man says "Streetlight is not playing tonight." Fuck. I ask who is playing, but it's loud and I can't quite hear him. Still disappointed, I decide to stick around. Then after a while, I see these four, very short Japanese girls get up on stage. Each one picked up their respective instruments and the lead singer yells into the microphone "Are wu weady to wock and woll?!" The band breaks into the crazy-loud punk song all sung in Japanese. It was so loud that I don't think I would have been able to understand the words even if they were in English. They later introduce themselves in their broken english as GitoGito Hustler. I really couldn't believe that this hardcore music was coming out of these tiny women. Eventually their set ended and The Spunks came out and brought the house down. Long live GitoGito Hustler!

Nudity at the Grocery Store

2005-06-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

I was about to stroll through the door of my local Schnucks on Saturday afternoon to pick up a few groceries, when all of a sudden this nine-year-old kid comes bolting out the exit door with two Schnuck's employees in hot pursuit. One of the employees was screaming "You may as well stop kid, we're gonna catch you." Now, apparently this shoplifter, who had about four or five items on him, had smuggled his loot out by stuffing it down his pants. And I think he may of had to unbutton his shorts to get everything to fit. So, as he was running away from the Schnuck's gestapo, his jean shorts began to fall off with each step. Unfortunately, the kid also decided not to wear any underwear that day. They eventually cornered him and it was all over. There were about ten customers, including myself, standing around watching this whole thing go down. What's funny is that no one was scared or tried to help chase the kid down. Everyone was too busy laughing.

Book Report: Survivor

2005-06-18T13:56:00.000-07:00

I once heard a comedian do a bit about how after people read a book, they always find a way to work it into a conversation to make themselves sound smart and refined. So, I recently finished reading Chuck Palahniuk's novel, Survivor. The book is about a former religious cult member, Tender Branson, who has hijacked an airplane that is two hours away from crashing into the Australian outback. Alone, he records his life story into the airplane's little black box so that it will live on forever, even if he can't. Very dark at times, Survivor was full of interesting and absurd characters including a psychic, barren surrogate mother, a despicable agent and a weathly couple obsessed over the proper way to eat gourmet food in social situations. I highly recommend Survivor to all those who are looking for a good read. See, now don't I seem smarter now?

While I was looking for a picture of the book's cover on the internet, I must have found at least four different cover designs. I feel like I need to read it again with each cover and see if the ending turns out differently.

Paul Shirley, Bench Warmer

2005-06-07T14:22:00.000-07:00

Paul Shirley, bench-warming small forward for the Phoenix Suns, kept an online journal during a five-game stretch. Apparently, the diary caused quite the stir in the media. It tells the interesting and somewhat bleak story of what it is like to be an NBA player. I guess no job is not without its problems.

My First Entry

2005-05-31T08:00:00.000-07:00

This is the inaugural post to my weblog, Solipsism! Once I figure out what the hell I am doing, I will bring a little more focus to it. But for now, see you later.